A Southern Slang Sonnet

Growing up as I did south of Houston, TX (in a small, working class town)…I was surrounded in my youth by many colorful regional “sayings” and quips. Though I have lived now in the Mountain West longer than anywhere else, I was recently inspired to try to write a Shakespearean sonnet but using some of that southern slang from my childhood. The resulting poem, “Bless Your Heart Sonnet”, was recently published by the editors at The Beatnik Cowboy:

Bless Your Heart Sonnet

You been conceited since the day you was born.

Walkin’ around with your nose so dang high

In the air, you could drown in a rainstorm!

You no apple pie on the fourth of July.

You no sweet tea on a warm summer day:

More like spoilt milk—in case you forgot it.

Struttin’ around in your new lingerie,

But no one gonna write you a sonnet. 

I swear to Gawd woman, you smash me to bits

And our time together is cattywampus.

You can kiss my behind and kiss my grits.

You ain’t no Georgia peach, you just pompous.

But bless your heart, you sure did butter my biscuit!

And when you sizzle like bacon? Cain’t resist it. 

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